Have you ever started a new job and felt like you were a step behind — like there was a memo everyone else got, but you didn’t? You’re not alone. In every team, especially those made up of people from different disciplines, there are unwritten rules — those silent agreements and habits that guide how things are done.

They’re not written in the onboarding manual or listed on the whiteboard. But they shape everything from how people communicate, to how meetings run, to what’s considered “normal” in the daily workflow.

So, what are unwritten rules?

They’re the small things that aren’t formally explained, but everyone just seems to know:

• The “right” way to email a certain manager.

• When it’s okay to ask for help, and when it’s expected you’ll figure it out.

• Who makes the call in a grey area (even if technically, they’re not the boss).

In multidisciplinary teams — think health, education, or allied health spaces — these rules can be even more complex. Each profession brings its own training, language, and assumptions. So when people from different backgrounds come together, there’s often a layer of silent negotiation happening under the surface.

Why do new starters feel like they’re on the back foot?

Because they haven’t had time to absorb these invisible norms. And when no one explains them, it can feel isolating — or worse, like you’re doing something wrong.

That’s why creating clarity matters.

Good onboarding doesn’t just explain the what — it helps people understand the why behind the way things work. That means:

• Sharing team habits and preferences up front.

• Talking openly about how decisions get made.

• Making space to ask the “dumb” questions — which are usually the smart ones.

Curious questions worth asking

If you’re in a leadership or onboarding role, here are a few simple ways to break the silence around the unspoken:

• “What’s something you wish you’d known when you started?”

• “What’s the unofficial way we do things here?”

• “What are the quirks that someone new should know?”

You don’t need to fix or formalise every unwritten rule. But by naming them, you give people the chance to learn faster, settle in quicker, and feel like they belong — rather than wondering if they’re the only one not in on it.

Because no one likes to feel like they’re out of the loop.

Click here to download the article – Unwritten Rules